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The Demi Girls
Episode Four
"Who Am I Popping now?"

The rain is hitting hard, and everyone wants to eat indoors. The chef is as busy as every and everyone on the wait staff can’t even take a five minute break. Customers are hungry and every single one of them seem to have it out for Trista today…

“Where are my damn hot wings?!” yelled an impatient man.


“Miss, my son spilled his soup, clean it up!!” yelled an impolite woman.

“Just a moment!!”

Trista was being over worked because two other waiters called in sick today, but her boss doesn’t care enough to call someone else it. The place was so crowded that she constantly had to keep her balance as several people didn’t know how to keep their legs under the table. Even worse was the fact that her boss was hounding her at every order…

“Trista, this food has been here for 30 seconds already, get it to table five NOW!!”

A tired Trista limped over and jump towards the counter. A man getting up out of his chair knocked her into another person’s table, causing them to flip their bowl of pasta all over themselves.

“Aaahh! I’m so sorry!! Here I’ll-” stuttered Trista, but as she bent over to wipe the floor, the man who had gotten out of the chair laughed and slapped her on the butt. It caused her to jump and she hit her head on the table, which caused everyone’s drinks to spill, and the baby at the table started to whale in dismay.

“Oh my… you little slut, what are you doing?!?” yelled the pasta covered woman.

Trista was in slight shock, “Wha? No he… I’m sorry, I’ll clean this all up...”

“TRISTA!!! TABLE FIVE!!! NOW!!!!” yelled a very aggravated chef.

And believe or not, this is how Trista’s day went normally. Unfortunately, people in this town were not very fond of her kind. Hell, she didn’t even know what kind she was. She looked like lizard creature with smooth pink skin, and long naturally wavy blond hair. The other people in this town were mostly made of lizard people, but their skins were either blue, green or a mix of both. She has no idea why her skin was pink, she can’t even remember what her parents looked like. She was found in the wild as an infant and raised in a laboratory. After years of unsuccessful research, her caretakers just decided she was old enough to handle herself. She had to find a job, find a new place to live, and find new friends. She only got two of those done…

An hour later, while Trista was in the restroom, out in the dining area, people were watching the TV. The news was on, and everyone was glued to the most recent development…

“A few days ago, an officer, in the town of Felicia, Samantha Paaws, as well as over twenty other people went missing after attending a party from two girls in that town. One was identified as Nyu and has been considered the culprit of this and several other acts involving missing girls. The other is a blue fish girl, possibly an accomplice. The girl were known to have exited the city and have not been seen since. Officials of Felicia have advised other cities to be on the look out for these two characters and to use extreme caution if approached but either one of them…”

The new man started talking about other pieces of news just as Trista had come out of the restroom. She continued to work as other people began to murmur about the two suspicious girls from the new. Trista didn’t have a clue what was going on but she decided to stay out of it because the last thing she needed was more people hounding her.

Her work shift finally ended and she grabbed her umbrella and began to walk home. Not many people were walking out because of all the rain. Trista saw cars drive slowly by and she stayed away from the edge of the sidewalk so she wouldn’t get splashed. She’d know several people who did it to her on purpose. She sighed deeply and like everyday, she wished she could just leave this miserable town and go somewhere else. Surely anywhere could be better than here…

Just as Trista was about to cross a street, she heard a loud noise from behind her. She turned around to notice a trash can rolling out of an alleyway.

“Hmm… must have been a cat…” thought Trista. But then she began to hear voices coming from the alley way. At first, she figured it best to stay away, but the voices began to echo a little more and she heard the sound of a girl laughing. She scuttled over to the edge of the wall and peaked around to get a better look.

“Hee hee… you’re completely soaked Nyu! You don’t like the rain much do you?” said one of the girls.

“Of course I don’t!! I can’t STAND the rain!! Just being in it causes me to squirm… How can you be so cheerful?!?” said the one named Nyu.

“I lived in water remember?” replied the other girl.

“We need to find a place to stay Shinsa, this alley is too damp for me…” said Nyu as she continued to shake her body in an attempt to dry herself.

“And how are we going to do that? We have no money remember? I swear, the town sucks… At least in Felicia, no one cared about money… Here you need money just to park a car… TO PARK!! It’s ridiculous… bunch of greedy-” said Shinsa but he was interrupted by a small voice coming from the end of the alley way…

“Excuse me…” said Trista.

“Hmm? Well aren’t you a cute one?” said Nyu as she got up and went towards Trista. She stopped suddenly because Trista back up a few feet. She was trying to be cautious.

“Nyu, don’t scare the first person who actually tries to talk to us!” said Shinsa.

“Hmph! Not like I tried to…” grumbled Nyu. Shinsa smiled and stood beside Nyu. She held out her hand towards Trista, who still had a worried look on her face.

“You’ll have to excuse my friend here, we’re new here! My name is Shinsa. It’s a pleasure to meet you!” said Shinsa as she shook Trista’s hand.

“Th…Thank you… My name is… Trista…” Her voice was so low, you could barely hear her.

“I’m Nyu! Why are you so scared? We’re not going to hurt you…” said Nyu.

“Do… did you say you have no where to stay?” asked Trista.

“That’s right. We are new in town and we aren’t used to this whole… money thing…” said Shinsa.

“Well, if you want, you can stay at my place for now…” said Trista.

“Wow, really? Gosh, you’re really nice for someone we just met, unlike the other people in this town!” said Nyu.

“Ya well, that doesn’t surprise me… everyone in this town doesn’t seem to like people who are different…” said Trista.

“What about you? You seem nice enough…” wondered Shinsa.

“That’s probably why they don’t like me either…” Trista grinned a little, “Follow me, please!” Trista motioned them away from the alley way. Nyu, who hated the rain, ran under Trista’s umbrella and Shinsa just danced around in the rain. They walked for a while until they headed into the outskirts of the city, at the entrance of farm lands. The landscape looks dead, even more so in the rain, as dead fields could be seen for miles, as far as the eye could see.

“This whole area used to be farmlands… bright and green, wavy with golden wheat fields,” Trista began to explain, “But a massive fire destroyed everything… No one even knows what started the fire, but it was such a huge blaze, the city just decided to let the fires burn out rather than waste money on sending the fire department…”

“Wow, even I think that’s awful…” said Nyu.

“And no one’s tried to replant anything?” asked Shinsa.

“No, the bigger corporations, which for the most part run the city, thought it would just be cheap to get exports from out of the city…” said Trista.

“Wait, what? That doesn’t make any sense! Exported goods and food are more expensive aren’t they?” asked Shinsa.

“Normally yeah, but they also own the exported companies, so they charge their own city for exported items… Gives them a reason to raise prices I guess… and they make more money than they spend so it’s very profitable to them…” said Trista.

“That’s… that’s HORRIBLE!! Don’t the people do anything?” said Nyu.

“No, because the city itself is richer, but they poor are even poorer...” said Trista.

“Count on the big business people to only think of themselves huh?” said Shinsa. Trista stopped and pointed towards and old barn that had two of the walls burned or torn. Bent or rickety beam head a multi-holed roof up. Underneath was a table, a few blankets and a worn dresser with ripped old clothing bursting out of it.

“Well, welcome to my home… its easily not much to look at, but unlike most places in the city, it’s free!”

“You’re forced to live out here? Aren’t there any others?” asked Shinsa.

“Not really… most people only use the farm lands as a passing point, and most of the city bigwigs don’t let people make shelters here. I’m only here because they haven’t found me yet…”

They all got out of the rain, Nyu went over and wrapped herself in a blanket while Trista shook the umbrella off. Shinsa looked around a bit more before going under the leaky roof. The small sound of water drops hitting buckets could be heard. Half the ground was flood as a few of the buckets were full. Trista just sighed and grabbed the buckets and tossed them out. Shinsa walked over to Nyu and whispered too her…

“Wow, I can’t believe what this poor girl has to go through…” she said.

“Your telling me… I thought I had it bad in Felicia, but this place is a dump…” said Nyu.

“I wish we could help her out y’know… she shouldn’t have to go through all this just to survive…” said Shinsa.

“No she shouldn’t… I was hoping to inflate some girls once we got here but this place kinda ruins the mood for it…” sighed Nyu.

“Well… Trista’s alone…” said Shinsa, of all people.

“Wait, why her? I mean the other girl were either bitchy or just oblivious but she’s had it a bit rough to be a balloon don’t you think?” ask Nyu.

“Well that’s just it… I can’t stand to see her like this… she’s suffering so much. I kinda feel like a I wanna help her end it… and at least she’ll feel good about it in her last moments!” replied Shinsa

“Hmmm, you’re right… plus we haven’t inflated anyone with those new pills you made when we went to make more serum right?” said Nyu.

“Right! Hee hee!” giggled Shinsa as Trista walked over with some glasses of steaming water.

“I know warm water doesn’t taste good, but it’s the only thing warm to drink around here!” said Trista as she handed them each a glass, “I have a portable heater that I use to heat some thing, but it’s batteries are running low, but that’s ok, I can find a new one. People leave a lot of junk around!” They each took a sip... Both Nyu and Shinsa’s faces twisted a little. It was salty like rain water… However Shinsa got an idea and waved her tail fin around a little and ‘accidentally’ knock Trista’s water out of her hand. The glass fell the water spilled out, but it didn’t break.

“Oh, I’m sorry, here lemme get you another glass…” said Shinsa.

“No no, I can get one, you don’t have to-” said Trista but Shinsa cut her off.

“Please, you are giving us shelter, it’s least I could do…” said Shinsa.

“Well, ok, but I don’t want to be trouble…” said Trista.

“No trouble at all, we’re here to help! He he…” giggled Nyu. Shinsa got up and grabbed a glass and dunked it into a bowl of nearby water. She then put it on the heater and turn it on. While Nyu was talking to Trista, Shinsa grabbed a little pill from her skirt and dropped in the water. She smiled as it dissolved and looked like she had put nothing in it. After a few moments, once the water was warm, she grabbed the glass and took it over to Trista who thanked her and took a few sips. Shinsa giggled a few time and stood next to Nyu, who giggled back.

“This water is a little funny tasting… I know this sounds stupid, but did you do it right? I mean, you used the water in the bowl right?”

“Yes. Hee hee!” Shinsa grinned. A few moments passed but nothing happened. Trista finished off her water and began telling them about how she wanted to go somewhere else. She was talked about how she didn’t seem to fit in this town and that she wanted to go and see other cities, knowing now that not all of them were like the one she lived in.

“So tell me more about the places where you live! Is Felicia a good city too?”

“Uh…it’s more like a big suburb town… there’s a city portion in the middle but for the most part its just modest sized houses…” said Nyu, who kept looking at Trista’s body, expecting something to happen. The pill didn’t seem to be working…

“Are… you okay, Trista?” asked Shinsa, who was becoming anxious.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m used to the rain. Or did you mean something else?” asked Trista. There was a low gurgling now and then a small hiss. Trista began to feel a little light headed and she sat down on the ground.

“Something else…” grinned Nyu.

Trista rubbed her tummy with her hands. She felt it was a little tighter and rounder than a moment ago. She looked down at her stomach and noticed it was starting to grow. At first she just thought it was gas or steam from the hot water. But when her usually slim stomach became the size of a basket ball, she began to worry.

“Ugh… wow I haven’t been bloated this much before… it’s a little embarrassing…” said Trista.

“Trust us, you won’t feel anything like it again!” said Nyu. As Trista sat there, looking up at Nyu and wondering why she said something strange like that, her attention was immediately turned to her belly. She now looked like a fully pregnant woman. She also noticed her self lifting up off the floor as if a cushion was forming under her butt. Then she realized it WAS her butt…

“What’s… happening… why am I bloating up so much?” stuttered Trista as her breast began it inflate as well. The hissing noise stopped growing louder as it filled her as fast as it could now.

“Hee hee, I put a little present in your water! It’s a little *giggle* thing Nyu and I invented. You’re going to become a balloon!” explained Shinsa.

“Doesn’t it feel good?” asked Nyu as she smiled and poked Trista on her boob.

“Well… actually it does… but... what if I fill up too much and explode?!” asked Trista, whose widening tush caused her to lift into standing position, her legs becoming plump and her are were rounding out and getting hard to move.

“Naw, that won’t happen!!” said Shinsa.

“It won’t-MMPH!?!” said Nyu but Shinsa covered her mouth. She leaned her mouth over to Nyu’s ear and whispered.

“She doesn’t have to know… let her last moments be fun!!” said Shinsa in a low voice. Nyu nodded and turned and smiled at Trista. Trista’s body was rounding out, she was huge, over 6 six feet wide and her limbs hadn’t even started sinking into her ballooned form yet.

“Well… I guess I should enjoy this then…hee hee, you guys are a lot of fun!!” giggle Trista.

“Ya we’ve done then this to several girls already! In fact a few weeks ago we had what we called a ‘balloon party’! Shinsa here used her powers, she’s psychic, and shrunk all the girls to tiny little sizes!” said Nyu as she made little pinching poses with her fingers.

“Wow she can do that?” asked Trista, her breasts we’re starting to get so wide they were covering her sight, “Keep talking, I can still hear you!”

Shinsa continued they explanation, “Yeah, I need good concentration though! Nyu inflated me when we first met, then I used my powers and cept her from moving, then I inflated her back!”

“Yup, but I broke her concentration long enough to steal her serum!” said Nyu.

“Serum? What’s that?” asked a balled up Trista. Her arms and feet finally began to sink into her body, but amazingly, she continued to inflate with almost no signs of her reaching her limits.

“Uh… never mind that!” said Shinsa as she gave a stern look at Nyu. Nyu put a couple of finger up to her own mouth and grinned. She had to be careful not to say too much.

“Okay, tell me what happened at the end of the party!!” giggled Trista as she bounced a few times. Her bouncing caused her to roll over and her head bounced off the ground. She just giggled some more, as if she was having the time of her life. The hissing noise began to slow down, but a few groaning noises started to occur, but Trista didn’t bother to care.

“Well, after I shrunk the girls, we trotted around scooping them up and taking them to a nearby helium tank. We stuck their mouths on the nozzle and inflated them like real balloons! It was sooooo funny watching them bob up and down on strings that was tied to them!” Shinsa continued her story, “Unfortunately, a cop came by, and you’d figure she wouldn’t like what we were doing…”

“Why? It’s so much fun!!” said Trista.

“Well, she busted in and it wasn’t going to be long before she was going to notice our ‘balloon girls’. So Nyu convinced me to inflate her too! We didn’t shrink her though, but I had to use my powers to inflate her… didn’t turn out too well…” said Shinsa.

“Why, what happened?” asked Trista. Nyu was the next to speak, unfortunately…

“She blew up…” she said. Trista’s eye’s widened. “Turns out Shinsa lost control and popped every girl in the room. Oh well, it’s not like they weren’t going to pop anyway!! That’s what happens when you filled up too much!”

“W-w-WHAT!?!?!” screamed Trista. Her loud voice snapped Nyu back to reality and she looked at Shinsa who was staring at her in shock…

“Nice going, now she knows she’s going to explode!!” said Shinsa.

“But… but I don’t wanna explode!!” yelled Trista.

“Too bad, happens to everyone…” said Nyu as she shrugged her shoulders. Trista kept bobbing up and down in a panic. But that was when Shinsa had noticed something…

“Hey wait a minute… what happened to the hissing noise? And why isn’t Trista blowing up anymore?” she asked as she walked over and rubbed Trista, examining her like a failed project, “I think the pill wore out…”

“It can do that?” asked Nyu.

“I guess, but I didn’t think she could hold this much helium!” replied Shinsa, “I mean, LOOK at her! She’s almost 10 feet wide! She’s even touching the roof!” Shinsa pointed at the roof.

“Well, can’t you finish that job? I mean if you lose control again, she’s just going to pop anyway, right?” asked Nyu. Trista finally stopped being silent.

“WHY do you want to pop me!?! What have I ever done?” she yelled in a panic.

“You’ve had such a hard life, we’re doing you a favor! Least the last moment in you life is a good one… or would’ve been…” said Shinsa as she gave another hard look at Nyu. She then closed her eyes and focused on Trista. Again her body began to grow, this time making stretching and groaning noises as she inflated. Her body was going to reach it’s limit soon. Trista was sweating all over her face, her eyes darting around. Her breasts, twice the size of beach balls now, pushed against her face, gagging her mouth and blocking off most of her sight. As her breast kept covering her face, Nyu had walk over in her vision, looked her in the eyes, and smiled.

“Don’t worry, it will all be over soon… after all, I should know, popping feels like the biggest relief in your life… Hee hee!” giggled Nyu. Trista cheeks grew red, her eyes starts shaking and watering up. Her vision became blurred and she was blacking out.

But something once again unexpected happened. The was a bright flash, light lightning, and filled the house place with bright light. Shinsa, whose eyes were wide open at the time, was blinded by the large flash, as she wasn’t use to that kind of light. She rubbed her eye a little and tried to open them. Her vision was blurry at first, but as it came into focus, she caught sight of Nyu. Her twin tails and ears were still that of a cat creature… but her short fur was now pink, and her hair was now blonde. She had a frightened look on her face as she looked at herself, notice the sudden change of color. Shinsa had also noticed Trista, whose body was also still the same, had gone through a change of color as well. Her smooth skin was now white, her hair was magenta. It was apparent that Nyu and Trista had somehow switch colors…

“Wow, that’s bizarre!! The weird flash must be a side effect of the pill… I’ll have to fix that later…”

Nyu still looked worried. She stared at Shinsa then stepped back a little bit into the rain. She sat there as she let her body get wet, then ran out into the rain away from the shelter.

“WAIT!! Nyu I can fix that… darn it, why is she running!?! Oh well, I’ll go get her once I finish with Trista!” smiled Shinsa and she continued to inflate Trista. The moment her body started growing again and giving off loud moaning sounds, she began giving off loud muffled scream, unlike before when she was fairly quite.

“What now you decide to make a bunch of noise? And why would Nyu still be running out in the rain?! She HATes…the…rain…” Shinsa voice got softer as she finished her sentence. She realized Trista was making so much noise now because she WASN’T Trista… Shinsa realized that flash had somehow switched Nyu and Trista’s bodies and now she was inflating Nyu instead. But when the panic stuck Shinsa, she began to lose control again and new Nyu’s inflation began to fluxuate violently. Shinsa made another panicked attempt to regain focus, but like last time, it wasn’t working…

Trista had stopped fifty feet away from the house when she heard un-muffled screams. She turned around and noticed with her new feline eyesight that Shinsa looked like she was in pain. Trista didn’t make a second thought and ran back towards the shelter, whichs roof was being torn apart by Nyu’s vibrating bloating body. Shinsa’s body started flailing wildly as she grabbed her head, as if someone was banging a loud drum in her head. As she rocked back and forth, Trista noticed a little glint of something fall out of Shinsa’s skirt. When she got over there, she watch as Nyu’s body started to fail and Shinsa mind was blasting everything around her. Trista looked down to notice a vile of bluish liquid. She quickly realized this was the serum that Nyu had referred to before. She also remembered Shinsa saying they had inflated each other before and figured this serum could keep them from popping. So she grabbed the serum and rushed over to Nyu’s head, which was completely covered by her breasts. Trista new that if Nyu blew up with her so close, she might get hurt, but she knew she had to try. She shoved her arm into Nyu’s breasts, which squeaked like balloons being rubbed together. She tried to move her hand, which held the serum, to find Nyu’s mouth. Nyu’s body made an extremely loud and long stretching noise. Trista face began to sweat as she kept fumbling around in Nyu’s large bosom until she finally found an opening. Assuming she found Nyu’s mouth, she used her thumb to pop the cork of and drained the serum into Nyu’s mouth.

As Trista attempt to remove her arm, she realized it was now stuck. Shinsa gave a shriek and before Trista new it, she was flying backward in a massive explosion. The entire shelter collapsed and Trista flew into a large puddle of mud. When she came to she saw Shinsa kneel down in the wreckage, her arms keeping her up, and her face pointing down. The rain was still pouring and it made Shinsa hair droop and drip. But even Trista could tears from rain. Shinsa was crying…

Trista walked over. She saw the ground littered with little white pieces of skin and shreds of clothing.

“I’m… I’m sorry Shinsa… I tried to stop it…” said Trista in a lower voice than usual.

“No… it’s not your fault…*sniff*… I guess I just didn’t expect it to end like this… We’ve only know each other for a less than month now, but it feels like were sisters. I guess this is what we get for popping all those girls…” cried Shinsa.

“I guess the serum didn’t work then…” said Trista. But as she said that, Shinsa’s eye grew wider. She looked at two small pieces of Nyu’s remnants connect back together again. Her face grew into an enormous smile.

“NO, it DID work!” yelled Shinsa in glee.

“But… but I thought the serum was supposed to keep people from popping…” wondered a puzzle Trista.

“No no no, it doesn’t keep you from popping, it keeps you from DYING!!” said Shinsa as she continued to watch Nyu’s pieces reform.

“Wait…DYING!?!?” yelled Trista who was now just plain confused.

“Yes! The serum keep you from being killed! Not necessarily from dying, though, I didn’t mean that. You can still die from old age. But you can be killed by any other means, like for instance, popping!”
“Really? But what do we do with Nyu now? She’s in pieces!” asked Trista.

“Well, she’s will eventually reform on her own, but this place is a mess… let’s gather up what’s left of her, and take her somewhere else. I can use my powers to re-stitch her cloths up!” explained Shinsa.

“Wait, then why not just use them to-” asked Trista but Shinsa already knew the question.

“Because, cloths are cloths, if I screw up, what’s that biggy?” said Shinsa. Trista nodded in agreement and helped gather up the rest of Nyu. But then something crossed her mind that she hadn’t though of before…

“Wait, wouldn’t the serum have worked anyway? I mean she’s taken it before hasn’t she?” asked Trista.

“In that body, yes! But now this body in has the serum too! So, now you won’t be able to get killed once you get your body back! Kinda of a bonus for helping us out, wouldn’t you say?” said Shinsa.

“Um… about that… how am I going to change back…” said Trista.

Shinsa simply replied, “Just…um…uuhh…wait WHAT!?!”

Sorry they seem to be getting slightly long, but mabye it really because of all the dialoge, more spaces in between lines. Either way I hope you enjoy this story, as it's noticably more intense, and even throws some emotion in there, but for the most part, it's just fun!! Again enjoy, and I would like comments by those who read it because I like to hear what people think.

But don't tell me what to write, as most of my stories are already planned.

Also, if you want to request a pic of a certain part of the story, go right ahead but try to be specific, or just copy and paste the part you want me to do a pic of.

Thanks for the support!!
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MarkDark20 Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
God! This was perfect! You should make a fifth part!
SuperKittyGirl Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2010
I like it :D
Itsuka Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2008
So how come I couldn't read your box before I read the story? Anyways very nice. I also agree that word isn't smart. I am sure it told you to take the s out of new. You know news. Its new men yay... I sorry. Its a fun story even thought I don't fully get the balloon thing. Oh well ^.^
Itsuka Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2008
So I am scroling down to see how long is this one and I saw your little box that tells us what your comments are about this.

Author's Comments

I didn't read it yet so it ade me laugh for the time being.
Zoekin Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2008
Great chapter!
I can't wait to see more!
I hope life gets better for Trista.
hesnotdead Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2007  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
nice series
Brolydbz54 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2007   Digital Artist
please continue!
darth-clone19 Featured By Owner May 23, 2007
I have to say, it seemed a little unorthodox to want to pop Trista because her life sucks, but whatever.

I overall liked these stories. They are supposed to be about how they met right? Cuz I would love to see more of Nyu going about inflating women she dislikes.
KakuEpsilon Featured By Owner May 18, 2007
And the third one joins the "party."

Poor Trista... Really feel bad for her.
manji-luo Featured By Owner May 18, 2007
every try typing it out in a word program first and using the spellcheck? that might actually be rather helpful, despite the inconvenience. i know you might prefer to type it up in a document like with "Notepad" or something...that's how i feel about it, at least, whenever i want to type up something like a note to myself. but using it in something like Microsoft Word would actually be helpful in some cases. it might not catch them all, but it could help you a little with it.

and then, of course, there's the possibility that you might write it up on a paper or something. if that's the case, then a tiny bit more proofreading would be good. maybe, say, after you type it out on here, but right before you post it on deviantart.

i'm not telling you how to run your artwork or anything, i'm just giving you a few suggestions of what you could do ^^; i'm not trying to sound pushy, so please don't take it that way
blackmage20 Featured By Owner May 19, 2007
actually i use microsoft word then I have to transfer it to note pad. I have it do the spell check and grammar. just shows how much it really works...

not saying it doesnt work, but its not perfect.
manji-luo Featured By Owner May 19, 2007
huh....that's pretty weird...

well, maybe a good proof-read after the spell check would be appropriate, then =3

(dumb question here, BUT) do you cut and paste the text? or do you retype it all out for the transfer to notepad?
blackmage20 Featured By Owner May 19, 2007
cut and paste. the fonts change and some of the spacing might get wierd.
manji-luo Featured By Owner May 20, 2007
yeah, but that atuff doesn't really matter much, now does it? ^^;

i really don't know what to say. you already do a great job, it's just the little tiny errors that i'm bugging you about xD sorry for being a nitpicky critic, but you DO do a good job, despite all that i've said so far
blackmage20 Featured By Owner May 20, 2007
thank you, but it comments like these that make the later version better now doesnt it?
manji-luo Featured By Owner May 20, 2007
yes, this is true ^^
manji-luo Featured By Owner May 18, 2007
grammar confusion detracted a little bit from the story, but overall, another good chapter in thee growing tale of the Demi-girls ^_^
blackmage20 Featured By Owner May 18, 2007
ya, i'm curse when it comes to grammar... i know the rules, and looking back i see all the mistakes, but for some reason they still make it into the final draft.
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